Random Obsessions at the Moment....

Finally, I'm off to Southeast Asia and to Indonesia.....I wrote about this a summer ago...but never went....this summer I have the program that I really wanted.....It's going to be great....I'm kinda person who goes off to different places around the world or travels to different parts of Souther States and poor regions to volunteer my summer time and this will be another chapter of that long historic life I have been living since my first time I have done it when I was in high school and my first volunteer work in Mexico. Little things matter, we some-times ignore that living the wealthiest and most powerful nation on earth has its fruits......but there's a world out-there that even little volunteering work-teaching locals on conservation can make a difference for their lives........that simple. I will try to write more on this later....

As any other college student, down-loading movies, music, ring-tones from the web is easy and a must :).....hopefuly they don't go after me...sh*t I only use for my own...don't make a penny and I don't share. Now, some days we don't get time to go out, in my room we watch movies that didn't even come-out yet on the net..use projector on the wall...again, don't ask..:) and I think I told this to Brian, there was two movies that came out a year ago that we some how end up watching and I have seen both of them few weeks ago and I will surely recommend them if one is interested seeing them....they can be find on the net, or U can rent them....

1. Quiet City: Which came out in 2007...
2. Once: which also came-out in 2007...

These two movies, although five out of eight people in that college dorm room did not like them.....I have to say they are great if you like movies that have some art and make you think what would you have done if that was you? Quit City; is about a young woman who came to see her best friend, but the best friend does not pick her up from the train station and it's late in the night...and she doesn't have money nor knows what to do! And Once; is about a wanna be singer living in Liverpool or Bolton, not sure the city, but in the UK and he wants to be a singer but never gets the chance...he works with his dad who owns a little store and in the afternoons he goes to stand streets to sing and make some money. But one day he meets this Eastern Europeans chick who will change his out-look in life and his music endover....both movies are slow, but make you think...

Wanting what we can't have, and having what we don't want..

This is another take to last post. I did read carefully to some of your comments and arguements on earlier post, from "this is normal way to feel from broken love in the past" to "you never love the same as you did before" and finally, "let the past go". Ok, but the weirdness of all of this is that......going back to old flame as I'm right now isn't doing the trick and she knows, things will for ever not be the same as before...no matter how hard she tries or others in between have tried...

SO, what now?

Right now, I'm in different mood on this way of thinking......I think its healthy for me......and be truthful about it. You can't really change how you feel and surely I can't have my lost love back..but still I'm wanting it to come back and I think this is just a human instinct.

One love at a time...

Never love one too much, if U don't want to not hate your-self later...Ohh how we learn these things with age. I have loved greatly once......dunno know if I will EVER love the same way as I did and nothing can change that. Others have the right to know.....thankfuly I'm blunt as it gets.

Those of you WHO have greatly loved once, did your second love felt the same as the first? Surely, mine don't.

Howdy..just came from night-out from Minneapolis with friends. The thing I love about Minneapolis is that even with its bitter cold winters; people here really enjoy their lives. Of all the places I have lived which are a lot, Minneapolis seems to have more happy people. I know some of U will just say bull about me saying that, but that's reality, but it's more about the city.

At nights, after 10pm Minneapolis feels like a dead place, where stepping outside of the bar to smoke or have a word with your other, U will find a dimmed lights of a sleeping city, few people wondering around, and for-ever feeling of a city which is some how at ease with it self and this is why I love Minnepolis. I have lived in New York as a young child, lived in Rome as a teen, been to most of the large American cities and in Europe, I can say Minneapolis has no equal on this feeling of a city that's both big and small at the same time. There's a feeling of nostalgic here, a great downtown of a bygone era, downtown Minneapolis has always been regarded in the past as the best city of all the cities west of Chicago & east of LA......This may not be the case in the last three decades, but still this city retains a magic that many cities that have came before or after lack, that feeling of a small community in a large metro....

Great to call this city HOME.....Minneapolis has no equal.

This is my party........

Hey all.............where did the week went? Man, when U have fun........days go by........zooom zoooooommmm.

My grandfather who passed away few years ago used to tell me and my brothers when we were in junior high and we were starting to get involved in school groups and into politics at very younger age to always know "If you become a member of any organized group, no matter what group, U will always have an enemy". He never meant "enemy" as "hate" by people who will have different and opposite views that no matter how ugly the discussion gets, they will stick with their "I'm this, your that". I do see this in myself, not that I'm correct 100%, but I see my views being 100% what is good for others.

U see, I love my party, the DFL, I really like the views of the Democratic Party on many issues, but it should never be made to seem that we are right and everyone else is wrong. Things are going to the tube lately, people with housing crisis, 80,000 jobs lost in last month, religion starting to mingle with our political system which is never good, congress seem worthless, now is the time to at least stand for something.....

Something that says........

Yes we may have different views, even I have different views from those who are liberals like me......but we still should have one thing in common......

This is great nation, how can we keep that greatness!

The day we come and do what's right not what's good for my party, will this be done.....without concrete political will of America's liberals, conservatives, and Indies can this country's ideals may forever be lost . We shouldn't torture people, the president isn't above the congress, no secret prisons, are all things that have always made this country different, but lately it seems that torture has became the norm, this president has more power than any other president ever, the CIA is running secret prisons around the world, congress is unable to do their core business, pork spening is out of hand, tax cuts are good, but I'm the middle class now and future upper middle class...and I really don't see why I should get a tax break, while others making less than I can't. U see, we should all be this together, or the social order is trashed....which will never be good. In a way, my grandfather was right, being in a group will surely result having another group which hates your guts, but can we some how proof him wrong that we are better than that.....

Little Things Matter..

I love the little things in life, the good and the bad. I didn't had class nor work yesterday and today, which is the first time for me in a while. So, I decided to call two friends who where in their spring break, I had my spring break last week.........We some how decided to head to Rochester, MN....here we were, early morning yesterday driving on the famed MN high-way 35W(yeah the high-way that had the bridge collapsed-which killed 13 people, while 100s where injured) when we started talking about what are the greatest joys or sadnes in life?

First, the usual stuff came up, family, friends, wealth, reaching some-where, Natalie Portman-Shakira-Amanda Bynes, blah, blah, blah U know the guys stuff....and by the way if U haven't noticed my love for Natalie cutey Portman yet, she's my pick of the best arse to bed..:)...Any-way things were ok up to there, but one of my friends got emotional...the three of us, he is the man's of men, the guy who doesn't really show that much of emotion, the one who had his father leave his mother when he was a kid, the one who watched and was the guardian of younger brother and sister through-out his youth, while the other two of us where running after girls and movie centers, he was the one that stayed at home and the one who had seen it all........Three of us have known each other since childhood and he isn't the guy who shows his emotions.....So i was taken back when I saw him really get tears on his eyes..not the first time, but this was the only time I can remember since I have known him..

He said, Mr. Ian!

He couldn't complete what he want to say.......

After some mins and silence he said Teacher Watt.

At this point, the other two of us start looking at each other....we both knew Teacher Watt-he was a science teacher for three of us back in high school.....but since high school this was the first time I really heard him or anyone else say or mention Teacher Watt. His real name was Teacher Ian Cole....but students used to call him Teacher Watt....he had a famous line known to all students at our school...that even in our graduation day there was contest who can mimic his tone and say "Waaaaaaatt U want". Every-time U ask him a question, he used to repeat that.."Waaatt U want".....and students used to love that line. To make this short, not known to other two of us.....for my friend Teacher Watt was one of the greatest joys of his life, that he had known him....For him, Teacher Watt was the man that made him and shown him a life he hasn't known before, that of possibilities. He said he was his angel, the one that saw his enduring love for art and biology, the one who used to call his mother every month for four years, the one who stayed after school for him to complete his work, the one who warned him and the one he seeked when he was down and when he was up...the one that had answer to his questions and he was the father he never had.

Sure, all of us have that special person, the one that U could for ever love, the one who understood U and made things right. For me that person is my mom.....

U see, back in high school, three of us really liked this teacher, as did countless others.....but the other two of us didn't really know the deep relationship between our best-friend and our chap teacher, for us he was another great teacher, one from countless others......Yep, we knew about the calls to his mother, 'cause we heard it the next day....but that was it. U see, our beloved Teacher Watt hasn't seen what my friend has became.....he passed away a year after our graduation..God bless his soul......I know he's smilling right know, knowing what my beloved friend and his beloved student has became, what he thought he would be.

Beating the Dems on Race or Gender...

• If it's Obama race will be an issue as it has been shown last few weeks. Look at Fox News get a hard-on talking about Obama's pastor and use religious signs to make their points and change a hate speech to racial issue which wins votes...
• If it's Clinton she will be un-done by the same conservatives and media that's very lazy and doesn't know what facts are. They will call her feminist, like something is wrong with feminism. They will attack her as they have been doing to Obama in the last few days..and call her a "American Hating Liberal".

Let me say few things about Obama's speech on race and the way the media has changed from a pastor's hate speech to a racial speech which is the only way the conservative, religious righties, and the Republican hate machine can win on this time. They can't win on immigration which was their number one issue, since they have McCain the man who wants sensible immgration laws, they can't win again going after gays, that has been used many times, they can't win 'cause many of us have learnt their tricks to scare the sh*t out us, so what will they do and that has already started? Race on Obama and unpatriotic on Hillary..both of these work all the time. If Obama, call on his race(even though he's both white and black) and If it's Hillary, I bet Bill's b-jobs and hating women will be the nightly talk.

I know another thing about this, who ever beats Obama, Clinton or McCain, they will be known the president who got elected instead of obama 'cause of racial hatred........not on politicies, 'cause the Republican Party has got nothing on politics, they have done worse things to this countrty than we can replace or fight for in decades...but still race will work for those in Ohio and Florida....'cause that's what have replaced real discussion about today's problems.....and the RIGHt WINGers will not stop to beat him with drums til Nov. and the day of the election..telling us and everyone that; he's just black....

Don't kid yourself, if it isn't him on race, Hillary would have been accused of being "An American hating liberal/dyke/woman" who has no shame; 'cause she still sleeps with the man who slept with other women...

This is a shame, after 8 years of Bush, the way the media has played on Obama vs Clinton fights, racial hatred, hatred of religious freedom and separation of religion from politics, seems to make me PUKE. This is insane.

Com'on....Married man need whores....spice things up.

A married man has been f*cking whores on the side. Is that news?

Ok, now chill, I know he's married man, he's man with power, he's governor of a state, he's the man that all criminals feared, but what about if he wasn't all that? What about the regular guy, married with kids, works hard everyday, and does what the New York governor has done? U see, what bothers me the most is that this guy as was the case with GOP senators (Vitter and Graig) or the religious right wing gay from Arizona, yeah the one f*cking the gay guy while telling his followers to kill gays. Not really killing, but just sh*ting about their lives which he has no role in it, like these guys New York governor Spitzer is a hypocrizzle which is why I really think it was good to see that he has lost what he worked all his life, great job, his reputation, a criminal indictment, and his marriage....and by the way, Kristen, AKA Ashley Alexandra Dupre, AKA the whore is hotty....:) That's her.

"Anticipation and Hope are born twins"

No matter the history, no matter the past, still this nation has and will for ever be known the nation of the people. No matter how corrupt it's leaders and parties have been, no matter on it's inhumane slavery history, it's savagery inception, this nation which has endured many angles and still stood as a nation of the best known democratic constitution may for ever be lost to a leaders who seek fear, mis-informaiton, and who lacked vision and hope to wage a war on today's problems. Again, let me go back to my hero, to Jean Jacques Rousseau and see what he have said many centuries ago about our current being....

Life: Rousseau wrote "The person who has lived the most is not the one with the most years, but the one with the richest experiences.

Both Hillary and McCain talk about their years in Washington, their time in the senate, their dealings with the washington lobby, their 3am phone call to attack false nations rather the root of the problems as in the case in Osama in Afghanistan. Yes, both have lived more than Obama, both have more experiences about the world, but they are not the ones who can change this generation which is a must and who can start a new political system that doesn't make everything about a party (GOP or Dems) beating the other, but the future of a nation in decline. As man of different cultures, a man who has lived many regions of the world, a man who was not married to a former president or an old man who left his older wife for younger rich ~15 years his senior while his wife was in the hospital after accident which still his children hasn't forgive him.......Obama is the MAN for this hour and for this age.

Truth: Rousseau "General abstract truth is the most precious of all blessings; without it, man is blind; it is the eye of reason."

Both Hillary and McBush will try to win again playing the false game. McBush will try to make the Iraq war rossy, will argue we have to be there 100 years so they don't come her for another 100 years, he will argue things are going great(today's death total-five American troops killed), he will try to falsely accuse the Dems of being with the terror groups, he will try say he knows the economy when he doesn't, he will try to starting wars from all corners of the world, he will try to blame those of us who still think we are better country than what Bush and Co have given us last 7 years as peacenicks. While on the other hand, Hillary will claim she will fight the fights of Bush and McCain, she will try to go beyond reason and tell us she never voted for the Iraq War, that after being asked of Obama's religioin said "she doesn't for sure know Obama beliefs, but will take his words" or that he wasn't against the war. She will use non-abstract racial under garments, which will be spread by her many old friends, who will say, Obama....is only here 'cause he won red-states, caucuses don't count, he should be my VP even though, he's leading me on delegades which is what matters to win, although he has 600,000 more people who voted against her and for him, even though....he will win tomorrow in Mississipi.

U see lately, it seems truth does not matter, since we don't hold our leaders to what we hold to our little kids......both Hillary and McCain will try as Rousseau has said...to make sure we stay blind and ignorent to reason. The only hope for this nation is a new start and Obama is that man for this start. A new political agenda, forget the political fights of the past, those of the last 30 years for the good of the country.....Hillary and Mcbush don't know how to lead this nation from this dark political disaster......but hey, I'm a Dem...so Hillary will tell me to support her if she some how wins with the Superdelegates...which is what she's trying.....So, let me go back to my friend Rosseau once again....

"Conscience is the voice of the soul, the passions are the voice of the body. Is it astonishing that often these two languages contradict each other, and then to which must we listen? Too often reason deceives us; we have only too much acquired the right of refusing to listen to it; but conscience never deceives us; it is the true guide of man; it is to man what instinct is to the body; which follows it, obeys nature, and never is afraid of going astray."

I will surely with my conscience not able to vote for Hillary (never to the GOP) and may go astray from the Democratic Party or even voting again.

Read it...Rousseau says leave the gays to their life..

One person that influences me the most on all great influential thinkers of the past is Jean-Jacques Rousseau...He's the man that influenced my political and social life. If U every want read any of his works and had to read one try his great book "Confessions of Jean-Jacques Roussueau".

On education: On Emile Rousseau has good warnings and points that need to be spread. Emile is the most important book about education after "Republic" by Plato. Which is what many people who vote 'cause they hate...'cause some one told them so....need to read.

"From the first moment of life, men ought to begin learning to deserve to live; and, as at the instant of birth we partake of the rights of citizenship, that instant ought to be the beginning of the exercise of our duty. If there are laws for the age of maturity, there ought to be laws for infancy, teaching obedience to others: and as the reason of each man is not left to be the sole arbiter of his duties, government ought the less indiscriminately to abandon to the intelligence and prejudices of fathers the education of their children, as that education is of still greater importance to the State than to the fathers: for, according to the course of nature, the death of the father often deprives him of the final fruits of education; but his country sooner or later perceives its effects. Families dissolve but the State remains. (Rousseau 1755: 148-9)"

"Plants are shaped by cultivation and men by education. … We are born weak, we need strength; helpless we need aid; foolish we need reason. All that we lack at birth, all that we need when we come to man's estate, is the gift of education. … I will say little of the importance of a good education; nor will I stop to prove that the current one is bad. Countless others have done so before me, and I do not like to fill a book with things everybody knows. (Emile, Jean Jacques Rousseau)"

U see, this was a man who lived not to enjoy what he had, a great writer, a man who could have had it all, money, peace, but still picked fight with the church, with religion, with colonial era, with other philosophers who came before him, but still remained us important things in life. What's freedom? Is it the one we have that we can say what ever? Protest? Vote? or is it absolute freedom? What about the so-called "Others" todays GAYS? The religious right AKA the Republican Party has made it known where they stand. But what does Rousseau said about it?

"THE strongest is never strong enough to be always the master, unless he
transforms strength into right, and obedience into duty. Hence the right
of the strongest, which, though to all seeming meant ironically, is
really laid down as a fundamental principle. But are we never to have an
explanation of this phrase? Force is a physical power, and I fail to see
what moral effect it can have. To yield to force is an act of necessity,
not of will -- at the most, an act of prudence. In what sense can it be a
duty? Rousseau.

R we all equal? Soooooooo equal that your morals/what U think is right does little to change the other standing next to you? Does the rule of majority is to rule only the majority....and the minority does not feel sh*t. U see, today's Republican Party needs wake up call. I can't say they will wake up......Religion is sh*t...it makes people think as they R different from each other.....although, nature says not so fast.

BORN IN AGE OF LOST....

Wow, what a year it has been so far...I'm both doing great and also not.....

Do U ever have this feeling of lost, while in the eyes of others and world perspective U have it all? That's my present situation. Some of my posts here and one of the reasons why I like to remain anon is that of writing my own personal journal entries on here. This is what I have wrote few weeks ago.

Yes, I ain't sick with medical reasons, not sick with any disease that those I see everyday have nor any problem that a doctor can diagnose. My problems can't be fixed with medication nor with psychoanalytic theories. It can't be fixed with religious texts, God knows I haven't sinned and I'm positive that because of my beliefs and lifestyles religion doesnt do it.

Now what!

In the last month and half I feel like I don’t even fit in with my own life. Lately I have found myself swept up in the whirlwind of life and what's amazing is that I know it. May times others closer by have said they envy the simplicity of my life an open individual with great social life who can walk in or out in any situation and education life that few will ever have the chance to experience. So, again what's the deal?

Here is the deal, I don't know how to say NO and that causes me many problems that I can't handle at the end. The worst part of this is all my relationships started with me saying YES, rather NO. No, thanks I'm not interested.......even when I should have yelled about it. I'm back with my old high school girlfriend once more....and I already know it will not last long.....ohh how I sh*t with my life... I know we would not be great after all that went between us….even though I hate that deep, deep down I am aware it will never happen again as it did and by saying YES makes me fear saying NO and that I will have to spend the rest of my whole life wondering what if it can work again and I have said NO.....

You see, I always fear saying NO, I fear it will change me too much....my personality and life has been all YES.......This fear also goes beyong my love life....lately I have seen it with other parts of my life....which makes me fear more.

UPDATE.....

Thanks all. "Some-times" the way I write comes like I mean different to what I really wanted or I mean for it. Alaz, that has been my life-always changing, always open. My original mental stage when I wrote this on my journal was that "I hold that humans are not equal for goodness and badness...the goodness out-weights the badness..and here is where my YES always comes from.....This is more personality and not changing reality. Thus, making me to really hold for-ever to those who R close to me, with or without the past history we had in the past. U see, every person who has been involved in my-life has been there, still there and will always be there, for goodness or badness. And I have been there for them. I have lived my life that way. I still see all my old flames including her and others that I always thought were the ones, but end thankfully. U see, I really hold my life has been special and THEY, those who I came to live with, hold, enjoy their lives as much as I did in my past.....The problems is saying NO, when it comes to futureless love which I would like to be only for her and me to be friends as I have been with her family and her.....that's all.

Life's many angles....

I want to the Mall of America today with few friends and took the new rail after parking at the West-Bank of the University of MN. Now, this is what I saw..It was in the morning around 11am and the one part of the rail I was in had may be around 25 people on it...but one think that caught my eye was the faces of people.

Do U ever wonder what it feels like to be one of these people U see at stations with fixed still face, like they are hurting and wonder what the f*ck is wrong with them and how U may understand their sorrow.....there was this one lady, between 45-50 and had this sad, and lost kinda of emotionless face that made me think in a second. Why her? She's one of many I see, coming back to downtown I also saw several others with such faces. I had my camara with me, but I'm very private person so I don't even think I can violote hers and take a picture so U can see what I'm talking about here. U know, this is crazy world, with so many angles...people deal with harsh realities of it everyday..f*ck I work at a hospital so I know N see this almost daily, but I never really stop feeling for them, feeling and wanting to really understand what it feels to be in that stage of lost, emptiness. May be I'm over-stating this, but I was really close to getting up and saying hi and just asking what's wrong....but didn't.

Just take a look the pic above, and tell me what U can tell about her...

ohhh my ohhhhh myyyy.

I'm watching the tele, Obama vs Hillary....man, I love this...they are saying the turnout will be over 200k for Dems....great....

My man Edwards did not do well, came 3rd. Now, looks Hillary will win...may be not...wait a second, "msnbc reporter at Obama HQ said internals showed their late polls with Obama lead widening." Man, wtf is going on?

Wowww.....now Hillary is up by 4000.....my head is going wushhhhhhh...

New year & new goals....

Make best of 2008...first I have to ignore the fact that is going to be fking 2008!!!! Time is going very fast.....U see the start of the new year as a time of renewal for us all, fresh beginnings, new opportunities....but for me it will be great if 08 is just like 07 with minor changes. U will see them below.

First my two cents of 2007 ?

1. Family did great, mom health which matters the most in my family improved in 07.
2. I finally understood that I can't beat time, so this year I learnt to take it easy and that there are no right/wrong turns in life, just new paths.
3. I loved deeply once, thought that can't be replicated....I was wrong and its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved deeply at all. The new girl is great.
4. Having a legitimate drunken fun at East-Bank campus....ohhh college life U gotta love it.
5. I would love to travel more than I did this year. 2008 surely must be my year of travel.
6. Being in politics has its down-fall, I hate the social marketing of people so I don't know why I want to be a politician! I'm already stoked on 08 elections....we need to beat Coleman and a Dem :) has to win the white house. PERIOD.
7. Another weird thing about this year, ...I'm being asked important questions and even many that I don't really know personally that well at work or at school seem to share their lives with me like I have the magic stick.....weird...may be I'm getting old.....
8. I judged myself hard in 07.
9. I Continued to learn...ohhh how I love to learn everyday!
10. The sad part, we have lost close family friend.

Resolution 08

1. Have sex with every girl in my psych class....all of them, the new freshman they would be the easiest ones, the old lost mothers now going back to college after years of no action, two graduate TAs, few that have been in the block, I better start before semster starts U know what they say about psych courses and women ...TAs here I come.
2. Get more sleep.....who doesn't!
3. Go to Indonesia in the summer and enjoy four months of conservation work..plus go to Madrid in Aug. for the wedding of my aunt.
4. I enjoy art shows which I haven't seen one lately and I need to explore more art houses around the Twin-Cites and also join an art community/club.
5. I'm coke addict, I need to start drinking at least 4 glasses of water.
6. Work hard on my political name, get face time with the party members and start volunteering with the DFLers and campaign more with them.
7. Stop making excuses for not exercising more before I travel in the summer.
8. Spend less time at the college and more time at the hospital....
9. Understand more on my dreams, hopes and my biggest obstacles of trying to out-do time. The 24 hours in a day is given equally to all of us.
10. Ignore the first resolution of 08...joke.

If there is peace, there will be happiness...

ONE.

Freaking Friday...yeeeeeesssss.

Yesterday I was feeling kind of nostalgic about this ending year, life is truly how U make it to be.

We all dream, hope, admire, be in a cliche, have sh*ty days & great days, fail & pass, fall in-love & f*ck around, be here, be there, be no where. We dance to lovely tunes, dance with others, dance alone in shower, understand heartbreak, cry things lost & laugh about things gained, have purpose in life, find god & the lovely seas, we fear 4 them & fear for us, find happiness, find despair & find fearing the unkown. We worry about weight & others worry finding things to eat, feel loss & feel for other's loss, we walk tall & walk weak, we sing & songs known to us, we have fun & other days none, we never know if there’s just never enough & feel we should/could have a lot of that, we don't have & we have plenty, we lack this & lack nothing, the greats think they're nothing & the farts thinks they all, we worry things we aren't & ask why not! We chase money, work, babies, four bed-room with two garages, we stuck at traffic & fly over highways of greatest nation on earth, we were sad last year, sad yesterday & sad at this moment, we feel hurt & feel other's love, we are loved & love, we say goodbye to loved ones & say hello to new born, we dream dreams of our fathers & dreams of our childhood, we fight the good fight for self and others, we say thanks and we are thanked.

In other words, don't ever think your a lone, we all feel the same and though we are many, we are one. What matters is never to give up, NEVER.

Live your life.

Just another crazy week...

First, I want to start with the news that the CIA has destroyed tapes that could have been used in courts or by the Congress. This just shows how far we have gone to hell & rats like Osama is taking our freedoms, rule of law and our way of doing things on the right way...What happened to REASON? Or not getting rid of government property that isn't the property of the individual destroying it? Uhhh this is such a crime, that even middle school teen in American history course will know is NO NO. This is another black-eye for this government and I wait to see what my party in the congresss and the national media do about this. This is very serious action taken by executive branch of government without the knowledge and the oversight by the other two branches of government. One day there will be a non-Republican government....surely in 08....what would many sh*t-heads in the rightwing nuts; who support torture and other methods that even the CIA deamed to not show it, 'cause it feared it will get to YOUTUBE is amazing....what will they do when that non-Republican government does the same? Remember Clinton and his licking some p*ssy...what that get him? Now we have government destroying property of the PEOPLE. Yes, these destroyed tapes were the property of the citizens of this country...and now gone for ever. This is f*cking crazy.

Three more weeks of school-fall term left....I have few finals and two major papers and I'm done.....I will have one month off from school and work....my HCMC work is clinical work which goes with two of my courses....I don't really know what I will be doing....May be travel (NYTimes just came-out with the best places to see in 08) and few of them look great.....As I said, I will not plan things as usual. Right now, I live a life that has no equal, may time isn't spent on worrying on what I don't have or can't get but what I have and isn't using them. I have a lot to be thankful in 07 and change is always good when U realize your not enjoying or not living the way you wanted to. Today is my life, tomorrow may never come.

Thinking F*cking 2 Much.....

Please, please, please quit if U smoke and if U don't stay away from it.

Ooh man, I wished U could be there, with me in that lab...dissecting the body of a man who have smoked 40 yrs of his 53 years in life. Man was that an experience! I usually get work on one cadaver a month, men and women who donated their bodies for medical training and provide an important place for us to produce and teach future medical students on human biology. The man had a laterally another skin on top of each internal organ of his body...this skin was a thick-dura like skin that was f*cking black/brownish and had some red dots on them..eewwwww. Human organs need to breath, flex as your loungs and heart do...but skin like that death is waiting few doors down....now I really and first person account know why lung cancer is the most serious medical problems out there. Death is certain.

Lately life has been like a sailing a boat in the middle of the 17th century N the fucking pacific ocean. Things come and go, still standing to tell it and enjoy some and hate some. Lately I have these weird moments, where I feel like I should freaking just leave college, or work, or Minnesota and all the dreams of my past. Nothing is more special and important to me right now than being myself, not f*cking following a f*cking time-table...do this, do that, and do those. college is making us slaves to money, future that we can never know even if tomorrow may come.....Lately, I'm hating plannning on things with passion.

We humans are not supposed to think this much, thinking to much is f*cking called mental illness. I can't stop thinking about why be in college, where I can move to Europe N work for my Dad and find a job while I enjoy it. Four years of college have already gave me a good education where I could have made money without thinking on grad. school. What happened to my planned conservation work in this summer to Indonesia -it was f*cked-up by me getting a new job at one of the largest hospitals(HCMC) which was said it will help me create connections with who's who in medical research around the twin-cities. What about my plans on political life with the DFL? It didn't happen yet & I don't have the time for it now...sh*t I even don't have the time to f*cking wear my snow shoes in this morning, when it snowed like we're living in Siberia....late, late, run, run, be there, be here, it all seems my rpm is never going to slow-down. I really am thinking hard about this and may just for once in my younger life having a total re-tool of my past dreams that are there, but not as much enjoyable as I thought I would. I love my life too much to waste thinking 2 f*cking much about my future educational goals.

N Now Sign For The Boys...:)

Dem is back.....If U misssed part one.....scroll down. This is a secret manual from Dem's....:)

• Men need puppy training, ladies need to take control in the puppyhood.
• One thing almost every-man do is what? Take his new trophy to his guy friends...don't go ladies. Meet the the family first. No man can deny or resist this.
• Don't be the nice guy, women don't want nice guys.
• Most men don't know that there's a secret to love; don't be her father.
• Being some what close, passionate, intimate is easy for us, but we hate the word "commit'.
• WTF...even my grand-father thinks he CAN flirt with the beauties. Old men, go play your cards...certain age, U gotta roll with the grannies.
• It's easy to to get inside a man's wallet, but not his head......just deal with him like a child.
• Men say they want self-sufficient, secure, confident women...not true. Men don't know what they want.
• Women's porn is royal wedding, men's porn is real porn.....what ever U do, U will never beat his beloved Jenna Jamason ladies...don't do his darned fantasy N drink that sh*t.
• If U think that all men want is sex....U get an "A".

After today call me Johnny Dem. My pirate costume was great; and she was Marge Simpson....weird I know.

Ladies...don't do..

• Don't call in the middle of the night and tell us what U have eaten the day before...F***ng gross.
• Don't say size doesn't matter, when U can't take it. I'm sore, sure U are.
• Shoping is ok, as long as U let us have Sundays.
• Don't ask what we are thinking, when we aint thinking at all. May be your sister...:)
• I'm only big-bone and not fat, means I'm fatty. Just say, I will be at the gym with U.
• No thong at the beach....If U aint Natalie Portman. Nuff said.
• Stop trying to fix your girls with our boys, they know U and don't want to have anything to do with them.
• Your high school friends are like our high school friends, don't ask why we still hang with them....it goes around.

College chicks are funny.

Let the fight start...:) Hides and runs...lol.

I'm out of it....

Crazy weekend..lack of sleep made the weekend more fun ....:)

Don't have anything of merit to say tonight, just in-class talk I had with friends today...

Do U know that most death row inmates request for their last meals only hamburgers & fried chicken. I was like, hamburger? Where's my pasta!

So what would you request for your last meal?

Lovely rainy day in Minni....

Almost 1:50 and I haven't closed my eyes all-day. No school for me tomorrow, gotta go to the gym in the morning and friends exam study-group meeting in the afternoon.

I stand in awe of my life.....Fridays...the world is one great big party just for me..:)

Life is good, greatest nation on earth, at the greatest university. Education has been freedom/power for me...I was very non-receptive to many issues due to my family's religious and my own interests. My junior year of high school was the most engaging and eye opening year of my educational life. I was given a three pages(Rules for Radicals) writen by Saul Alinsky to read for class discussion.

Here I was, 16 year old kid, more interested on girls and football and had little interests for historical events, persons, but found a liking for this man's ideas and opinions about the world and his community building. He, Alinsky is the man who have given me all the ideas and issues I have been working on ever since and plan to work on the rest of my-life. I love it and I love that I have kept the power of education with persisitant fever and never allowed myself to be side-witched by others opinions that don't see the power, peace, freedom of the person. Reason is all we have. We have to reason on this earth.

You see, its not about being rich, being the boss, being that athlete, being that actor, being that leader, but being the one U want to be. Only understanding that, your powerful and loved, powerful and loving, powerful and loving it...could one realize the meaning of being alife.

I call this unfair....but can't stop it.

I love it when a lady is smart and funny and great/modest in every-way...few weeks have passed and seems I have known her for ages. We have been IMing over the last week, went-out twice, spent time and had fun. But this is the problem, she's different then the others I have met last few years......they were in just to be in a relationship, in just to be the center of attention, this one is shy, others were open about their ideas about the relationship, this one isn't, they were wanted that college experiment, I don't think she likes that.....But here is the problem, I can't give it back. It's like I developed wernicke's aphasia or something...last three years I have pushed so many people away....and some how that sort of thing doesn't cease to matter to me in the slightest bit and that worries me a lot. I really don't know why this is the case...may be I'm still a child or may be immature. I sat here tonight, thoughtful, I spend all my time with friends who are just like me, who are the most self-involved people I know on the face of the earth.....but again who am I kidding? I could no sooner withhold judgment than I could grow a third arm.....She is too honest...looking more than I could...and I call this unfair.

Uhh 'sight" sorry about the rant....Halloween is coming, I still don't know what I will be. At UofM, we have this Halloween run that we do every year....while in costume and drunk.....I'm thinking being a pirate this year.....Let me know, what U guys have done in the past that look great.

Another PPG college...

Sorry hard to see....I will try to fix it up....Hope U have good eyes.

Update: From The Future Was Yesterday "The document is easily read simply by clicking on it." Thanks future.....I was trying to do other Cscie/re--scan it... to make it clear...didn't work for me....yeah click it...:)

GOP Logo....

I am not gay, nor have I ever been gay. Yeah we know....but U wanted to f*ck a male cop.

Just look the wide stand.....sh***ing on MN.....lol. Let me help the GOP...more like this...below.

PPG Notes....Lol.

Life is good.......school/new girl going great.....

We started UofM Progressive Movement of 2008.....to educate the youth about the GOP and their ideologies. 2008 Republican National Convention will be here in the twin=cities, we need to make sure to educate our friends/relative about this. This is all done to re-elect Norm Coleman; which wouldn't happen...I'm sure of that.

Update......LOL this is how we are getting ready for the GOP in Minneapolis...I can’t believe the GOP convention is in Twin-Cities.......

World Today

The world must know what's happenning in BURMA......please see this site.... LINK...I was told the death toll will be out of this world tomorrow...Monks have been hunted and killed like sheep tonight.....Ohhhhh my word. Not 100% sure but the Japanese government are saying that guy on the floor is Japanese reporter.

Hope you all had great week. I'm off to being night owl...few Dinky-town parties...Enjoy your weekend....live your life.

We Pick The Winner?

Hillary Vs Laura Bush...

This is not beauty contest, personality test...

Hillary, staying and not backing down about her goals, even though, I don't know if she still loves Bill or not! She will scoop to any level to reach her goal, young girl from Chi-Town to marrying a new star in the Dem's political field, only having one child so as to make sure she doesn't miss her goals, running her own backdoor office with him in eight years, and still run for a senate and win with large majority to a state she has no connection to.......Atleast, she ain't as fugly as other first ladies that's for sure. And now, will surely be the next president.

Laura Bush, I really like her, very quite, does her job without much fan following, married to a rat, drunk f*ck who couldn't tie his shoes, but due to his family and the political situation and power of neoconservative movement was hand-picked and won two terms while standing next to her...and also due to his father's long and great service to this country she could also be said, she knew about his family when she met him. She's a librarian and does very well with the kids, does not get involve with politics that much and surely will be the least-known of all first ladies......and I AM NOT SAYING, I AM JUST SAYING she's the fugliest of them all.

Now, pick the winner...

Week started well....Just having fun. Have to give a class presentation about Cerebral Palsy on Friday...
Let me borrow from Blunt...
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Around noon today I was riding the bus coming from St. Paul student center after group meeting.......When this chick sat behind me....I was reading so I didn't notice when she got on the bus....but just suddenly I turned around and what a beauty.......I'm very gitty, so I turned side ways and started convo......she said she's 22, but to my demise after a some miles.....and I got the digits......she got up and said talk 2 U later....I saw what I wasn't expecting....a ring in her finger.......why did I not see that earlier; so I can atleast ask! I was like uhhmmmm..........My boys think....the ring may have been fake since she gave me her phone#......I Dunno if James Blunt is correct...we will see....U can't blame a single man...but morals are still there...:)

Man who urinated on dying woman faces jail....

Little sick today.....didn't even had the power to be at the game tonight. Watching it on ESPN right now with few friends...

This f*cker LINK is ****ing sub-human. He walked-out from his house and find a dying old lady, what did he do? Help Her? NOOOO... He f*cking urinated on her and ''covered her head to foot with shaving foaman" while his friend recorded the whole thing and also He thought this will be a funny video on Youtube......But the old lady was dying.....and needed emergency care...What a f*cking sad that is!

Here I'm after long day of lectures, discussions, meetings, hanging with friends, countless coffee drinking, two hours doing research work at the great libraries of Wilson/Anderson, naps at Coffman Union, two exams, helped paint Washington Bridge painting for Student organizations(I will post some of the pics tomorrow, man there are some weird groups out there), stood with striking workers-today as did many other students...today was hunger-strike day-many teachers and students did not eat all day and to top it all; Obama has cancelled LINK only caucus meeting at the University - good for him. This will not do good for the the name of the University. Surely, they have lost me as an alumni. In other words, I love my life...and wouldn't trade it.....I live in a alternative livelihood, lifestyles and life cycles that can be said to be perfect. Hopefully, U all reach and achieve your dreams. I know, I'm.

Those of you around the twin cities, MN......Neil Young's "Chrome Dreams concert-November 8, 2007, 7:30 p.m " will be here at the University's Northrop Auditorium. Ticket prices are $67, $92, and $142....most of them are gone...but I know few friends who have more than they need and would sell them or I can also direct you where U can get them cheap around the University.......email me or leave a comment if you are interested.

Life is good....enjoying last few days of hot and steaaamy days in the land of lakes.

Today I stood with the striking workers at the UofM....I and two friends helped them post posters around the school...like the one above.....I believe that worker solidarity is more important today than ever before.......This University will never get a dime from me as alumni if they keep on the road as they are following these days.....

Labor Day.........

This era of inequality, economic insecurity, static benefits for workers, and the Republican's Bush League Economy. Let me scream, scream, and scream more.

Unions Today

&

Unions For-Ever

Nothing is better for you than your biggest failure. I have learnt many things in my younger life, I think this is the biggest of them all. People always want easy things, and over-coming cynicism is very difficult...what matters the most is staying with it. If you are after a cause big enough, as I'm with liberal causes you will always have people to support you and U can support. I just came back from a meeting with the new-freshmen students who support liberal causes and will be the leaders of tomorrow. They are University MN's future front-line fighters. Looking at their faces, most of them just out of high school just made me proud and I'm not one to cry that easy but tonight was close call. Just watching them ask me questions, similar to one's I have asked four years ago was just amazing.

One of the biggest issue that was discussed was what to do with the GOP Presidential Convention which will be here in Minnesota-2008? We have to work hard showing the public both those in this state and the rest of the country what kind of ideas and ideologies the GOP stands for. Don't kid yourself, their ideology has nothing for these young people and for those of us who have fought the greater good of this country.

Back to School.....

What kind of people live next to U in America...watch this...LOL

Life has been so great and eventful that I don't remember the last time I wasn't worrying about another semester of school starting in few weeks. I took off from work up-to Labor Day::::))) Yep, I will enjoy it. Have a wedding to go on the weekend and that's it....The MN State Fair is great, went there on Sunday...will try to go back there again. I'm single again and knew from the start this wasn't going to work. Similar people don't fall in-love. It was like we were created from the same cloth.......will always be a friend.

Rove is gone....Alberto Gonzales is gone...who's next? Bush must be impeached.

Does time exist?

Does existence depend on your sight?

One thing I love about science is that, we are able to refute things, we can research it, see if we are correct about our findings or refute all of it if not. Next three days, CNN will have a must watch two hour special about largest religions of the world. For me, as some one who honors God, holds religions as great need for all of us, I still view religion for the most part as the attempt of humans to create the illusion that their reality is important than the other human who sits next to them, but holds different views about human creation and life...where science is the ability for us to understand importance of time and rules of nature. I give U the illness of science is that it can't answer many things, such as wrong and right, but it can correct the wrongs of relegious fanatics. In one's first few years in grade school, we all learning concepts of animal survival, the need for both human and nature existance as the core that holds all we see in our environment, watching few clips CNN of this program just makes many of us, who hold that religion is a person issue, to really hate what these religious warriors have made all of us to see things in their only closed f*cked ideologies(yes, these are ideologies and nothing more).

Again this program is must watch..its called "God's Warriors". Done by the great Christiane Amanpour. These old religions use time, certain period in human life to go back to, and to claim part of environment as theirs, while saying others have no right to it. Just watch and wonder...

I was there...The Bridge Collapse

I will post some of the pics I took. I was into my last lap on two mile run at University Avenue and 10 st...It was great day to run and enjoy God's sun...when the 35W Bridge went down.....It was crazy...and scary.....haven't heard from one friend, but the rest R safe...

Awful, I hope some of the families in those cars miraculously survived......This was Just Sad On So Many Different Levels....I saw some of the wounded......and it looked to me some will not make it.........The wireless service around the University have been atrocious since the bridge collapse.....hard to get calls from friends and family....we R just standing outside our dorms and just can't take what have taken place.....I take that bridge everday....twice a day.

Hope all is well....Brian, Dawn, Rocket(hopefully is in Denver).....and all the rest.

I will post the rest later....

Question......

What a day in the greatest state of Minnesota.....summer...work...going great. Hope U all R well on your part of God's creation we call earth(Rocket don't shoot me. :)

Ladies...your answers needed....this is more ladies game.

Your older brother's best friend is getting married.....He's good friend of yours........U don't like his soon to be wife, your girl hates her more than U and she's will not be going.....But U have to go, must go.

Now, what's the best, weirdest, funniest wedding gift you have ever given or seen some-one give? Don't want to spend much, but really don't like the wiffey, and he's not a man of things.......will take anything I give, he's my god-father.

Also, the sh*t part is here.....soon to be wife is the sister of your old-girl.....and she will be there......where all the family know what happened between U and her......wedding will be out of state, so you already spending enough...and don't also want to make the old-girl and sis happy.................

Be creative girls, and help a brother-out.....don't want it to be mean....

Yeah, talking like 17 yr-old teen.....I know.

One last huuurraaaaaaahhhhhhh....

For those of us who are Twins fans or baseball fans we all have one player to link all the reasons why we love this game....for me, Ken Griffey Jr. will for ever be the great one, the best player I have ever seen and when his days are over, he will be one of the best to ever played this game......As a young kid, I watched him at the dome, and was always interested in his playing days at Seattle..

Ken Griffey Jr, baseball history is nothing without you.........Man, what if? What if he never got injured? What if he didn't leave Seattle? It would have been him, NOT Bonds after Hank Aaron. Bonds and Griffey will for ever be linked. Both sons of baseball legends, both made the game so beautiful to watch, both are liked and hated by many, both have been great fathers and husbands, 1337 homers between them.

Take my word, baseball will not have a game as important as the one tonight......Watch with me and admire.....

Greetings.....

Summer is here, what can I say, things have been going great. Hope you all R doing the same.

conservatism is dead tonight.....

I just watched tonight's Republican presidential debate, very painful to watch.........It was painful to watch to see 8 men (Not McCain and Paul) in this day and age; agree that torture is good and OK; a paramount moral issue taken so lighly was shock to me, that Iraq war is going GREAT, that they want small government that lets each of us have personal freedom, but also does not allow abortion, marriage rights as some of these freedoms, that Bush has done well running the country, that ony Texas Rep. Ron Paul thinks troops must come home, that water-boarding is now called an enhanced interrogation techniques(now used by fox News) by the Republican Party, and this party dead tonight......They will not win in 08, and the they can not and will not regain the congress.

It has been lovely day in Minni, run three miles and enjoyed 45 min in Lake Calhoun, went to Wilson Library to pick up some research program that will entertain me in the summer and at HCMC. Life is good when you have fun....ummer is here, time to be peace with nature. Hope you all travel in our mignificant high-ways, see and enjoy the wonders of the world, the green-lands/parks. Stay srong.

Spare de rod & beat de child

Nothing much, I just took my last exam.......yeayyyyyyy.

Surely, it's much easier to blame the education system, to blame the government, to blame racism, and to blame the children on their anti-social behavior, to blame EVERYONE EXCEPT THE PARENTS. Here is the question.....Too many kids = high youth crime, or not?

I'm 6' 2", but check at NBA players and their wives......I love the NBA, T-Wolves has been my childhood team, and even though lately I have given-up with Taylor(the owner) who seems not to be able to provide help to KG to be a winner, but they are still my beloved team, more than I can say about the Vikings. Not her, I think she's taller than Tony Parker Lol....and I can't ignore the pic. Eva Longoria.

Greetings from Great State of Minn.....

Man, I almost hit a lady running in the street around 7am today.......she did not see me and I did not see her till last min, man that was scary as f*ck. I was going around 35 mph and this lady just appeared from no where and I was looking on the road or that would have been very bad accident. I spoke to her and she really did not see the car was coming..........For sure God was with me and her today.........Just woooowwww.

Last week of school starts tomorrow and I can see the end of another crazy spring term. What can I say, I love my life. This spring term had it all, when you reach the clinical work course become harder , having two jobs did not help the situation, thanks to Dubya my best friend and roomy did not come back from Ft Sill Army Training Center as he was supposed, found love that makes me restless everyday:), took a final exam that was 50% of the course % on friday aughhhhh, bought a car 2002, Mazda 626 V6 and now with three cars, reduced/limited my partying days and more time in the gym and at home, first time started golfing, went as many live shows around the twin-cities as I could (those of you who live in MN, go see the Science Museum Art ex. about race, just crazy), snowboarded more, ...

Gotta go will add later...

OOOOOhhhh Really.......

I came home to catch few mins of the Democratic presidential candidates on MSNBC last night, I have to say we have great people running. All of them had the answers to many of the problems facing this nation, now is the time for me and other liberals to stand strong.

Is the way to a man's heart really through his belly or can men cope with women who cannot and do not like to cook? This one can't cook.:(. She has a point when she says, 'but your not that good at it either....lol. Us guys are a bit easier to please if the lady is good cook, but in these days not many of the young women I know, none of them can cook....dunno know may be MREs will be the thing in the future.

Next week will be the last week of spring term at Uni, and my head hurts thinking about it. Three exams and two papers are waiting me......

How did these ideas get beyond the board?

Junk-email folder from yahoo....A men's cologne that smells like P*ssy...No joke. What kind of p*tch did the creator put forward in that meeting? This is wrong in many levels. Just imagine one guy saying to the next " Hey dude, hate to be rude, but you smell like p***y.

The US military is building a three-mile concrete wall in the center of Baghdad along the most murderous faultline between sects. Today, Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki said in Cairo: "I oppose the building of the wall and its construction will stop," Maliki said to ABC News 22 Apr 07 . The same people who want to build a fence in the southern border of the United States, think having a little concrete wall can stop the daily deaths in Iraq. Now the question is, who's the sh*t that thought this will work?

I'm into science, I read almost daily on research journals around the world, I have read this some months ago, but just had to go back and re-read it all over. It made my day. Scientists have created the world's first human-sheep chimera - which has the body of a sheep and half-human organs. 15 per cent human cells and 85 per cent animal cells. How f*cked up is this? Yep! with advanced science age we are in, I expect more weird sh*t like this to be researched and produced. Some researchers in the world know no bounds. LINK

Over-night shift for me tonight. No class tomorrow, and finals week is almost here, this has been long and crazy spring term for me. I'm enjoying it.

R.I.P

Peace......

Friend of mine has been telling me very long time to read "The God of Small Things." by Arundhati Roy, and I just finished reading it with my girl. Here are few youtube clips about the author. HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE.

Here are what she said to a friend, of not giving up, fighting for the rights of the voiceless is not only about winning or losing election, or court cases....


"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." Arundhati Roy

We could not stop the Iraq War, we are not able to stop the crisis in Darfur on the time being, even with the largest people coming out on in the streets of the world, we could not prevent the death of over 3000 Americans and over 500,000 Iraqis, I wonder if the large Multi-National Corporations are keep winning by taking the world to war after another, and if that keeps not to stop what will be left on rest of us? Read what Arundhati Roy is saying here, and understand that we have work to do, for peace and for love in this world. There is bigger lessons on here, in that we should never give up, even when things are not going on our way.

Drop it like its hot

Nothing much...........One of the the most important reasons to have higher education is that, you can be selective on the job market. I have to say, even without them paying me much, ohhhh how I made the right move with this job. May be I will produce the research that some of you who have a family, friend or not....who has a Brain and Immune Disorders in the future................I is genious.

Hmmm not yet sure about locking off oldies..... just because they were there in my single days, don't want to make them used when in need. All of them that I have met has some use, for example I have this one who we started as a girl-friend in waiting during last summer. She just has done the decorating in my place and we have the best time when ever I'm around her.......she has the best smile and she knows now that I'm involved, and didn't leave.....Call me what ever you wan't, and I wouldn't lock them off.......All of them.

All in my life I have always hold that time is too short to waste in the bitterness of the world, so dream on my friends. Don't ever look back on lost time and years, that never does any good. Always look forward, work hard both in self and in others to make a difference in this world. Your inner thoughts can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak, and finally to know nothing is bad, learn and learn more. Only those who LOVE others will find love...Enjoy your meadows and gardens if U have some near you :(. Spring is here, dance, enjoy the sun.....