Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I call this unfair....but can't stop it.

I love it when a lady is smart and funny and great/modest in every-way...few weeks have passed and seems I have known her for ages. We have been IMing over the last week, went-out twice, spent time and had fun. But this is the problem, she's different then the others I have met last few years......they were in just to be in a relationship, in just to be the center of attention, this one is shy, others were open about their ideas about the relationship, this one isn't, they were wanted that college experiment, I don't think she likes that.....But here is the problem, I can't give it back. It's like I developed wernicke's aphasia or something...last three years I have pushed so many people away....and some how that sort of thing doesn't cease to matter to me in the slightest bit and that worries me a lot. I really don't know why this is the case...may be I'm still a child or may be immature. I sat here tonight, thoughtful, I spend all my time with friends who are just like me, who are the most self-involved people I know on the face of the earth.....but again who am I kidding? I could no sooner withhold judgment than I could grow a third arm.....She is too honest...looking more than I could...and I call this unfair.

Uhh 'sight" sorry about the rant....Halloween is coming, I still don't know what I will be. At UofM, we have this Halloween run that we do every year....while in costume and drunk.....I'm thinking being a pirate this year.....Let me know, what U guys have done in the past that look great.

11 Comments:

Blogger The Future Was Yesterday said...

About the first 2/3rd's of your post.
I have no set do this this and this answers. I was kinda in a similar situation once; a great lady, everything's great about her...but I couldn't give back equally as she gave. She was so great in fact, that she came right out and asked if we could talk about why I didn't want to give back. Man....talk about sweat!!!! But we did talk. However, I did end up married and happier than it's possible to be, so there are pitfalls to that system.:) Share. If she's great, if she wants more, tell her why she can't have more, or tell her why you can't even give back what she gave.....even if it's in stumble mumble stutter guy talk we're so fluent in. If the tables were turned, you'd want to know why, wouldn't you? It's all about communications...and they can make us break out in jock itch! But learn the art anyway. Someday you might have to order the pizza.:P

Now on to more pressing things. I went dressed up as a gas pump one year.....until I got arrested for public nudity!:)

Keep at the talkin' thing, man. If you learn to say what you are, want, need, don't want, you'll be fine. "They" will understand. They really are from another planet!:P

Cheers!!

1:02 AM  
Blogger Brianinmpls said...

This year I am going to be the head coach of the Bagers...lol We look similar and it is cheap.

6:38 AM  
Blogger Rocketstar said...

Isn't this your MO as you state? You keep pushing them away because you can't for some reason let go and make yourself vulnerable.

I have a bit of the same problem.

6:39 AM  
Blogger CindyCinlou said...

Love is really hard and these days like is even hard. But when you can be with someone in everyway it is worth it. As for Halloween I am not sure if I get the job I am trying for I will be wearing scrubs. I think a pirate would be a good idea.

11:46 AM  
Blogger lauren said...

I read a portion of a thesis paper that stated that college dating is now defined as hooking up so that you can try on as many partners as possible. Which is a pretty sad way to live life, if you ask me.

Coming from the girl point of view, if we're giving and giving and not getting anything back, it makes us doubt ourselves a little bit. I dated a guy who was completely closed off about his feelings, wouldn't share if or why he was closed off to having the kind of relationship that I wanted. If he'd just been able to tell me that he was working on it, we might have lasted. Girls need that give and take because if we don't get it, we start to doubt ourselves in addition to the relationship. We're also patient, so if we feel you're worth waiting for, we'll do it. We just have to know that we're waiting for you to come around to us, not just spending time until something better comes along. Make sense?

You should go as Peter Griffin for Halloween. Your lady friend could go as Lois.

8:06 PM  
Blogger *Ren* said...

I think you should be a naughty nurse, lol! That is what I was last year and I know I was soo hot. I passed out condoms and dollar store pregnancy test. For some reason that really makes me laugh right about now.

And you know about the serious stuff. You are only capable of giving what you have. You can't offer someone a glass of orange juice if all you have is cranberry. Sometimes love and relationshiops just work that way. I still look back and this about this one guy who was so perfect for me at the worst possible time in his life. There really was nothing I could do. Try not to be too hard on yourself!!

7:27 AM  
Blogger Secret Agent said...

Hmm... since Halloween is coming up and you don't know what you'll be... why not be her boyfriend?
Oooohh, that was pretty smooth, wasn't it? haha

I hate Halloween, bad childhood memories.

2:20 AM  
Blogger Valley Girl said...

OOOhhh... Be Johnny Depp from Pirates of the Caribbean! Hot.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Dem Soldier said...

The future...One day, may be not today....I have to tell her.

"If the tables were turned, you'd want to know why, wouldn't you?"

I don't know, I really wouldn't like one to tell me, I ain't good enough.

Brian..lol, man U should come to the U, and meet these grads...and get some.

Rocket...that's what I have been doing last few years, I hope I don't continue when I get older..:(

SOG....Tell me about it. What's not fair for me is that the other has to know, but how? Dunno.

Lauren...Surely, I don't even see this one as dating, and not even close those in the past...when U only have fun with one girl for four months and switch to another...that has been college dating for me...not this one.

Lol, Peter Griffen?...What U calling me a protagonist?

Ren....Naughty nurse? If only I was pussy. :) Most of the time, i try to see things on the eyes of others, which makes this not easy. I have hard one bad relationship and I measure the rest on that.

Secret...Yes, but halloween is the wrong day for that. LOl, just playing. "bad childhood memories" like scared sh*tless. :)

Valley G...Yep, pirate will be great....

Those in MN, and want to be part of the run, it will be 9pm at Dingy. Any-one can take part, be wasted...:)

9:11 PM  
Blogger *Ren* said...

Dem - It's good you got the bad on out of way. Actually you may have some more bad down the road but you are smart and reflective, and you can only learn and growth from those experiences!

10:30 AM  
Blogger Dem Soldier said...

Ren...thanks.

6:52 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home