Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Greetings..I'm really enjoying my last year of college. Just had dinner at JAX with my older sister.

Is a Man a fool for not wanting to be with a woman who loves him?

That's what my sister said to me tonight. I think it's much more complicated than that. Loving the wrong person as I have, and not being aware that I was just getting by is a sin I would never want to repeat. Been there done that. Greatest gift I have is that, I always know how to walk-away about things. I have always had lady friends, who I have known for many years, few of them since college freshman, and the best part of having lady friends is who they bring to your dorm and life.........I'm really enjoying all those I meet, ladies come and go in my weeks, and the women in my life have caused me to travel and see the world more than I would ever have, and few months ago, they brought another one to my life. she's desi girl, same age as me, she got me hooked on bollywood, very smart and seems to love me and all, no day go by without her, but I just don't feel that way about her. But hey, they say that feelings can and do grow. Seems like lately I have learnt not to give it back some how, and looks I'm just in for the ride. When ever one gets close, and close, some where in my head says, NO....I push her away. This one has been the only one that lasted over a month, for sure I'm taking day by day with this one.

I gotta go back to my homework.....Bonne nuit...Good night.

5 Comments:

Blogger Rocketstar said...

"Is a Man a fool for not wanting to be with a woman who loves him?"

---- Hey Dem what's up man? When I first read that I thought you were saying you should "be with" your sister LOL!

Doesn't the man need to love the women as well? Just being loved does not a partner make.

Mmmmmmhhh, that's a tough one Dem. I have been in your shoes and personally, when the feelings are not there for you, they are not there. You can't create them.

It's tough because these never end without a lot of tears, she'll cry for losing you and you'll cry for hurting her.

She doesn't read your blog, I assume!!!

5:30 AM  
Blogger lauren said...

I am with Rocket, that was my first thought, too. I was gonna say, "I know you're a liberal, man, but EEEEWWWWW."

Since I know now what you're talking about, I'll fine tune my comment a bit.

Is a woman a fool for not wanting to be with a man who loves her? No. Nor is the man. While feelings can grow and change over time, you can't ever force yourself to feel something that you just can't. It's your heart and your head telling you that it's not right.

That's not to say that things won't ultimately work out with this Desi person. She might be fantastic and the fact that you WANT to want her is a start. You're obviously recognizing that you enjoy being with her and don't quite want it to end. Sometimes in a relationship (or one that is just starting out) it takes a while for both people to be on the same page, you know? For me it has always been totally normal to freak out a little bit if I really like a guy and he seems to really like me... because that means it might be real. AGH! :)

I guess what I'm saying that you're doing the right thing by taking it day by day. But if you are just hanging on for the sake of having someone there then you are doing her wrong and you need to make your mind up stat. It wouldn't be fair to you and it might ultimately keep you from meeting someone else who might be better for you.

9:37 PM  
Blogger Brianinmpls said...

1.) I love JAX I used to go make reservations just to get the match books..lol Do they still do that?

2.) Am I that behind that I don't know what Desi is?

3.) Just be upfront with her about how you are feeling and keep hitting it as long as you are honest about your feelings and intentions....I know I am a pig...But Really what is a Desi?

7:12 AM  
Blogger CindyCinlou said...

So I have actually been that girl tell her she deserves to know. It is great to love someone but if they don't love you back well it hurts but the longer you wait the worse the news is. I am still friends with the man in my sitution so maybe that will help. But hey what do I know I am in love with a man I can probably never be with.

11:02 PM  
Blogger Dem Soldier said...

Lol at Rocket and Lauren...

Rocket....There is a reason, why my name is Dem Soldier. Only one person on here knows me.

'You can't create them' Well said Rocket this is it, I don't feel the same way as she does. For me she was another girl at the start, brought to my apartment with one of my friends and that was it. Since my old relationship which I have writen here a lot, there's something special about her, but seems I don't know how to give it back. Usually I don't write about those i'm with current, they have special place in my journal, which some of my writing here came from, and I couldn't resist.

Lauren....surely I'm taking day by day with her. But still that does not take away that I was in for little adventure, but I found something else. And surely I'm freaking out little. I have loved once, and I fear that I may never feel that kind of love again. Few years ago, I was not a type of person who gets into a relationship and walks away that easy, if I'm in I'm in. When I met her, it was nother friday night with another college chick....and some where in my heart I don't really like that.

Brian.....JAX is still the same. My bad, I should have said...Desi is some one from Southern Asia, she's from India.

SOG.....I don't think I'm just playing with her, I'm not ready that's all.

7:02 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home